What are you even doing?

The end is near. The end of 2019, that is. Have you taken stock of what's important? I have.

Right now I'm holding a doll. A doll my kindergartener gave me with instructions to "hold her while she sleeps." And as I type these words, I hear in the background my twelve-year-old son (today is his birthday) giving instructions to his new game Exploding Kittens. My 16yo son is practicing vocals for the high school musical tryouts for West Side Story. My second grade daughter squeals as she practices handstands for tumbling, and Mom is asking all the kids about their day at school. My teenage girls are scrolling their screens and watching God knows what!

Sometimes I lose myself. This blogpost deadline came around so fast, I can hardly believe it. Since my last post, we buried my father-in-law, had a blizzard that cancelled our Thanksgiving travel plans to see family, found lice in one of our children's hair, and I only wrote a few thousand new words (including a picture book manuscript). Wow. I'm getting tired.

Sometimes I wonder if I can offer useful advice through our blog. My craft understanding took a big leap when I got into Pitchwars in 2018, but I still am in the early stages of my understanding of writing a complete novel. But bear with me. Because, I can offer something useful.

Still, I have to be honest. Trying to write full-time while managing a busy family of nine sometimes pushes me close to the depressive episodes I've struggled with in years past. This is where I am right now.

While I want to write awesome and unputdownable middle grade stories, I need to recognize the real life demands I face. As a husband to a successful physician (Chief of staff and director of OB at our regional hospital) and wonderful mother, I owe her and our children my fullest attention. My writing will continue, as I can fit it in (I have seven full manuscripts of my 2018 Pitchwars novel out with agents and am working on several new manuscripts), but I am first and foremost a husband and father. I will not cede those responsibilities to others.

Please remember that you are not your writing. You are more than what other people think of your writing - or any of your accomplishments for that matter. I'm trying to remember that too. And though the writing dream lives within me, I will remember everything that's important to me. I hope you will too.

This may be my last blog post for a while, but I'll keep my writing dreams alive. Please keep your dreams alive, too. As this year comes to an end, remember that you are more than any one label you or anyone else might apply. You are an individual. You are capable of great things. Follow your heart. Listen to it. Trust it. You will be fine. So will I.

Rob

Changing the World a Paragraph at a Time

As I’m writing this, I can hear breaking news being televised in the next room, reporting that police officers in Baton Rouge have been shot and killed. After I first heard about this and had a chance to process my now all-too-familiar shock and disgust, it occurred to me that our country has reached the point when the mourning periods during which we lower the American flag to half staff are now overlapping, due to the frequency of such tragedies. These events of extraordinary violence have become so familiar we use the names of their locations as shorthand: Orlando. Baton Rouge. Minneapolis. Dallas. San Bernardino. Charleston. Newtown. All of this is to say nothing of the wider problems also occurring throughout the world.

When I was a kid in the age range of the middle grade reader, our most immediate access to the events of the day was either the evening news, the newspaper that arrived the following morning, or occasional thirty-second bulletins on the radio. Social media and a twenty-four hour news cycle defined by divisiveness, hatred, and fear has to make it harder for kids these days. Even if they don’t closely follow what’s happening, they live in a world saturated by all variety of things going wrong. As they get older, they become more aware of the boundaries that separate people as lines are drawn between ideologies that don’t agree. Talking about things like politics and religion have become conversational third rails, since expressing beliefs or aligning yourself with any kind of strong opinion too readily invites conflict.

When thinking about problems like these, it’s hard for me to separate my roles as a teacher and a writer, because, for better or worse, I see them both as much as who I am as what I do. Teachers can have a great deal of influence on their students. They plant seeds regarding character. They try to act as role models worth emulating. When the school year is done they send their students into the future and usually will never know how much difference they made, if any at all. It’s frustrating, but it’s something you learn to accept. In the end, all you can do is hope you made a difference.

One way teachers work to make that difference is through books. They put a lot of thought into what they read to their classes, and what titles are included in their classroom libraries. They’ve all seen students unable to choose a new book to read, and usually can figure out which books those perplexed students will enjoy. They help desperate parents of reluctant readers find books their children might connect with.

This is where writers come in. We need to give those kids books to read, and ideas to think about. We make our characters handle difficult situations and resolve the conflicts that follow. Some of those conflicts are things middle grade readers might experience in their daily lives, or are only aware of from a third-person distance. Some might even be so utterly fantastical they could never happen in real life, but they can still give readers things to consider. 

We also give them examples of consequences that follow certain decisions and actions. I think it’s fair to say that most writers have favorite books from when we were younger. How many of those books might have helped shape our view of the world as adults? 
Even a book intended to be little more than a fun story has merit. Maybe silly is exactly the kind of thing that will win over a reluctant reader, and convince them to broaden their horizons and try reading something new. Maybe it just provides that reader with a welcome escape from what they’re facing in the real world.

Not every book that makes it on a library shelf is going to change the trajectory of the entire human race, but that doesn’t mean it won’t challenge some reader out there. Even when we’re frustrated enough to scream from all of the work that comes with our drafting, and revising, and editing, and revising again, everything we do is a small step in the direction of someday making a difference. When we write, our goal is to communicate an idea or provoke an emotion at some level. Isn’t that ultimately the purpose of art?

It’s easy to feel helpless when things in the world are going so wrong, and so many problems feel like they’re beyond our control. The next time you sit down to outline, or stress-spiral through your notes, or hack away at your current work-in-progress, remember that each paragraph you write is a contribution to the greater cultural thumbprint of literature. Writing something can make a difference, whether it ends up on bestseller lists, or is only enjoyed by a small circle of people, or just helps you understand your own world better. You probably won’t ever get to know what kind of reach your work has or how many people could be influenced by it, but that’s okay.

Regardless of where you are on your own writing journey, there will always be value in the effort. Your effort could someday plant an idea with someone, and help them find the tools they need to make their world a better place.

When Life Gets in the Way of Writing

As writers, passion is the reason we pick up a pen. I’ve never met people more motivated and enthusiastic as the writer’s I’ve met over the past few years. Passion is the reason we daydream about our stories and our characters that we come to love like real people. The reason we feel the need to share it with the world.

But what happens when passion disappears? When life gets in the way and exhaustion sets in?

One solution is to take a break, walk away and let yourself recharge—but that’s not always an option. One thing I’m learning is that sometimes motivation becomes illusive at the most inopportune times.

Right now I’m working on edits for my first novel. I have an unrevised novel that’s been sitting in a corner, collecting dust. I have two half written novels and several more I want to write. I’m a mentor for Pitch Wars and have two writers with huge potential relying on me to help them.

I’m also pregnant and preparing for a HUGE change in my life. I’m exhausted and have been through two infections in three weeks. Soon, I’m going to have newborn and then what? 

This is life and if you want to be a writer, you have to push through the struggles on occasion.

Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s okay to slack off every once in a while. You have to take care of yourself.If some nights you can’t stop your eyes from crossing and the only thing you can manage is watching an episode of Big Bang Theory, before passing out at 9p.m.-- that’s okay.

BUT! The more you put off, the more stress it adds. So as your life changes, you have to change with it. There is a fine line between discipline and pushing yourself too hard. Here are a few tips for when things are at their hardest.

1.     Plan- you know what work you need to get done so split it up and plan it out day by day so that you never get stuck with a huge load at once. 

2.     The hardest part about work is getting started, so sit down and get started. Once you’re there, things start to roll and your mind remembers what it needs to do.

3.     Be honest. There are very few times, even as a published author, that there is no leeway in a deadline. There might be consequences, but it’s do-able and believe me, it’s better to have to push back a deadline, or put something else on hold than to turn in sub-par work. I told my editor about my infections and he was very understanding about my delay in the revision. So when you’re behind and someone is waiting on you, be honest.

4.     Embrace the struggle. Use it to your advantage. Today I had to write a blog post but had trouble getting the motivation, so I wrote about my own struggles. Last year I wrote a short story inspired by writer’s block, which later won a contest. Writing is about passion and emotion. Struggle is a strong emotion. So use it. 

Writing and life don’t always go together well, but it’s never impossible. Has life ever gotten in the way of your writing? What did you do to get past it?