Forget Family...Which MG Characters Would You Invite To Your Holiday Feast?

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Headless turkeys, ill-fitting pants, family estrangement due to polarized political viewpoints and, er…feelings of gratitude all point to the lard-laden holiday of Thanksgiving which will soon be upon us here in the States.

Living hundreds of miles from our nearest relatives has meant that my family is either traveling on some of the busiest, craziest, kerfuffliest days of the year with a 97.5% percent change of getting stranded in an airport overnight…OR opting to spend a quiet day of thanks hunkered down at home with our small crew of six.

We lean towards hunkering. 

After years of celebrating with our large, extended family, we’ve found the positive side of these lonely-ish holiday observances is the lack of bodily injury and/or need for noise cancelling headphones. On the downside, we miss the energy and camaraderie of these domestic get-togethers, as well as the lively and eclectic discussions that only seem to occur when people are forced together in a small space with large quantities of food, alcohol and fire code violations at hand.

Though my family will once again be on our own this year, I thought it would be fun to conjure a Thanksgiving gathering of all my favorite middle grade book characters in the absence of my blood-related characters. I mean, who needs real live people when you can live in a fictitious world created solely in the mind of another writer’s outrageously warped imagination!* See? Fun! (And not crazy at all!) 

So, please visualize the toasty glow of a fire in the hearth, the smell of rosemary and thyme wafting from the oven, and the repeated BANG!!! of semi-permanent disfiguring spells breaking through the silence as you ponder my Thanksgiving Day (dream) guest list (table for 10):

• Matthew Cuthbert sits at the head of the table next to a trough of brown sugar, while attempting to transfer his calm, loving energy to the motley bunch surrounding him. (Spoiler: He will fail. And now I'm sobbing, because...Matthew!!!) 
• Harry Potter is sitting closest to the cupboard looking alternatingly thoughtful and bemused, while practicing his Expelliarmus spell on...
• Percy Jackson who continuously siphons water from the kitchen sink to both douse Harry in retaliation AND refresh the water goblets while...
• Farley Drexel (Fudge) Hatcher whimpers next to Percy, because he needs some Pepto Bismol after the turtle he ate this morning, but...
• Stanley Yelnats is chastising Fudge for being a wimp, teasing, "Eat it or wear it!" because the soggy old onions Stanley ate were so, so much worse and--BAM BAM BUM...
• Steven Alper cuts Stanley off from his sorry-for-himself tirade by playing a righteous drum solo on the gravy boat, while...
• Meg Murry mulls over the stupidity of boys and her frizzy hair as she watches...
• Sunny Baudelaire gnaw on the leg of the mahogany table in vegan protest of the soul-killing meal, while
• Hermione Granger gives a speech on the "Rights of House Elves" (as they lovingly labor over the Thanksgiving Feast) next to...
• Raina who is adjusting her headgear, so she can actually fit something bigger than a cranberry into her mouth, and...
• I...have been relegated to the kiddie card table in the sub-zero front entryway.

Ahh...can't you just feel the passive-aggressive tension colliding in the air above stomachs that have been stuffed to five times their capacity?! In other words, the perfect Thanksgiving feast. 

~Amanda

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Genre: Shackles or Rocket-Powered Jet Pack?

If you put any serious effort into writing stories, regardless of whether they’re 400,000-word epic fantasies that stretch the limits of Microsoft Word’s ability to keep your words safe without getting corrupted or a short story hand-scrawled on the back of a new band flyer, sooner or later someone is going to ask you what it’s about. Which is good, because you should probably want to talk about what it’s about, at least if you have any interest in having people who aren’t your mother read it.

All too often, though, on the heels of being asked about the subject, comes the standard assessment of your work’s perceived genre.

“Oh, I don’t read fantasy.”

…or…

“Wow, sounds awesome! I love Sci-Fi! Have you written any others?”

And just like that, your work will forever be pigeonholed, and may the Three Laws of Robotics save you should you find the inspiration to veer off course and work on something—gasp—off genre.

“I liked your romance novel. Why didn’t you stick to that?”

You subversive radical, you!

The problem gets even stickier as you carve out success along your journey as an author.  Most publishers will want you to build an audience with each new book, and there’s not nearly as much reader crossover between Historical Mystery and Science Fiction as you might think. So if your first book is a fictionalized version of Betsy Ross solving the mystery of the White House while spy single-handedly fighting off Redcoats, it’s going to be a bit of a trick to get them to buy your follow-up, where four orphan kids befriend a lonely ghost who leads them on a rollicking adventure through space.

I’m not saying that no one will want to read about both Betsy Ross and four orphans with a restless spirit in the Pegasus galaxy, but it’s probably a pretty small set of people. Not exactly how you want to build an audience. You know, an audience that pays you to write?

As you can probably tell, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. That is, considering whether genre, as a label, is a blessing or a curse. Because I’m the guy who’s writing Betsy Ross and the Spirit Space Gang.

I mean, I’m not exactly. I haven’t written those books (although I might have to now…that Betsy Ross adventure sounds pretty cool and who doesn’t love orphans in space?), but since I began writing, I’ve written one fantasy horror for adults, MG novels in science fiction, mystery, horror, and fantasy, as well a second adult novel that’s kind of, sort of, fantasy. Or maybe Sci-Fi? I’m not sure what you’d call it just yet.

Well, besides awesome, but I’m not exactly objective about it.

And as my agent and I stalk the corridors of publishing in search of the right editor, I understand that sometime soon I’m going to have to limit my expression to fit a publisher’s marketing concept. Which scares me a little, since I started writing MG because I wanted to share my writing with my kids. Those rascals, it turns out, have tastes that are just as varied as my own.  They don’t want to read just fantasy. They want fantasy and mystery and origami science fiction.

Wait…is that a thing?

Either way, it’s hard to argue that genre won’t become a shackle around my ideas. That’s especially an issues for new authors.  I mean,  sure, if you’re Stephen King, you can write The Shining and The Shawshank Redemption and  The Gunslinger and no one’s going to bat an eye.  He could probably write stereo instructions at this point, and as long as there was a bloody corpse in there somewhere no one would complain.

Which I guess says a lot about King’s genre. He’s the master of the that “Bloody Corpse” section of the bookstore.

But the options seem a lot more limiting for you, and me, and anyone else just starting the trek down Publication Road.

Maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to let that genre label own you. Sure, a publisher might not want to pay for a cozy mystery when they just signed you to a three-book deal for dragon stories. But that doesn’t mean they control what you write. They may control what you publish, and, admittedly, squeezing in time to scribble down a few lines about Miss Ginny’s search of the stables at the Brokeback Bed and Breakfast might be a challenging when you’re on deadline to deliver Dragon-Hearted Two, The Enflamaning, but if her story means that much to you, you’ll find a way.

Or at the very least, you’ll occasionally give your imagination a 10 minute break to run with it.

Because, really, isn’t that what got us all here to begin with? Not genres labels, or shelving locations, but an imagination strapped to a rocket-powered jetpack, screaming around freely and coming up with exciting stuff.

So not matter what I end up getting paid to write, I always intend to give my mind a little jetpack time.

After all, pen names exist for a reason, and you never know what story might launch your career into new and exciting heights.

What genre(s) do you write? Do you stick to one primary one, or let your mind bounce around like a Super Ball in a glass laboratory?

Pud’n

PS: Don’t forget that tomorrow is MG BOOK BOMB 2015! Don’t miss out on the fun!

You Don’t Have To Be a Guy To Make People Laugh

On Wednesday, children’s book author Cheryl Blackford published a post to her blog about the recent Tucson Festival of Books.  It wasn’t about her experience at the festival, though, but rather about a panel on humor in children’s books. More specifically, it questioned why the panel in question was composed entirely of five white men.

I mean, while I suppose it’s possible that the only funny kidlit writers in Tucson that weekend were dudes, I’d put the likelihood of it up there with the odds that I’m going to be featured in one of this week’s NCCA Basketball Tournament games.

After going on to relate how she questioned the panel regarding the gender imbalance evidenced by their quintet of Adam’s apples, near the end of the post she writes,

Does this matter? you might ask. Yet more carping from a woman on the topic of gender discrimination, you could say, rolling your eyes.

She follows that with a brief argument of why, yes, for the love of the all the cherry-flavored Skittles, pointing it out and examining it, matters. It matters because the only way to someday conquer biases such as this one is to bring it up when everyone else would rather not talk about it.

In doing so, hopefully we can work together to overcome it.

So, of course it matters. It matters to all of us.

Then again, you might be wondering why I’d be bringing this up, of all people. I’m a middle-aged homo sapiens of European descent with man bits who is trying to get his MG books published and make a mark on children’s literature. Heck, I even write books that are intended to be funny. A bias towards guys like me when it comes to deciding who is or isn’t likely to open up a can of belly laughs can only be to my benefit, right?

Right!

Except, no, not really. Because believe it or not, it matters a lot to even me that we to work to overcome these biases. Especially the idea that dudes are funnier dudettes.

But, why, you ask?

Well, for one thing, because I believe that few things make a children’s book more enticing to a young reader than a healthy dollop of laughs. Now, clearly, not every MG book needs to be a madcap side-splitter filled with clowns and fart jokes. But I firmly believe (and I’ve seen a ski slope’s worth of anecdotal evidence of this among my four youngsters) that kids will more consistently read and talk about books that make them laugh. And there are plenty of great books out there by women that don’t just deserve to be read, they need to be. Because kids reading great books triggers a positive feedback loop. Once they find one, they’ll go looking for another, and then another, and another. Again and again.

And if you ask me, that seems like a pretty effective way to increase literacy in kids. In turn, that can go a long way toward curing many of society’s ills, one giggling reader at a time.

Another reason why giving equal consideration to the comedic lady folk matters to me is that some of my best writer friends are not only brilliant, but also brilliantly funny, while also being female. In fact, my agent has put together quite a client list of women who make me laugh, both in their work and in regular old, everyday conversation. In fact, if a day goes by that without a literal – by which I mean actually, really, literal— LOL at Julie Falatko* or Dev Petty**, I start to get twitchy, like maybe I’m missing out on something somewhere.

Speaking of which, if you like to laugh, you should probably follow both of them on twitter.

Finally, the most important reason that issues like this matter to me – even if it might seem like I’d be better off keeping my rambling trap shut – is much more personal than professional.  I have a daughter who, at nine years old, has already finished writing more complete stories than I did before the age of thirty. She might keep at it and become a professional writer someday.  Then again, she might not.  But whatever she chooses, I want her to grow into a world where girls aren’t automatically written off when it comes to deciding who might be the funny ones, or the smart ones, or the ones best at applying the Pythagorean Theorem.

The long and short of it is, it matters to me because I want her to have all the same advantages I have now as a middle-aged white dude. I want the playing field to be level, for her and everyone she knows, regardless of race, creed, gender, orientation, or galaxy of origin. And as far as I can see, the only way that will ever happen is by doing exactly what Cheryl Black recommends.  We all need to be seeing the biases, asking the awkward questions, and raising the issues until there aren’t any more left.

Before I step off my soapbox, I thought this might be a great place to leave suggestions for the Tucson Festival of Books, or for anyone else who needs help finding a children’s book or two by awesomely funny ladies who know their way around the funny bone. If you’ve got a recommendation, drop it into the comments below.  Here, I’ll even go first: Heidi Schulz’s Hook’s Revenge is not only a terrific adventure story with a plucky leading lady, it had me laughing out loud while 40,000 feet over Pennsylvania a few weeks ago. 

Much to the chagrin of the guy in seat 14B, I might add. But then I read him a few pages, and he got over it.

So, what do you have in mind? It’s your turn, let’s see what you’ve got!

Pud’n

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*Julie’s debut, Snappsy the Alligator (Did Not Ask to Be in This Book) is due in early 2016. You should keep an eye out for it.
**Dev’s debut, I Don’t Want To Be A Frog is out now.  But you’ve already read it, obviously. If not…why not? It’s delightfully subversive, and hilarious.

MG readers share their thoughts

Several middle grade readers live in our family, and I asked them to share their expertise with us. In the questions below, I ask about their reading habits and tastes. Perhaps you can learn a bit from their answers. (I know I picked up a few good tips.)

1.      About how many books have you read in the last year?

b-11 “At least twenty, but some of the books I would like to read are not published yet, or my parents won’t let me read them. Like, Allegiant, for example.”

g-11 “NO IDEA!”

g-9 “About a dozen.”

(I’m certain all of these estimates are low. I see these kids reading ALL THE TIME! Often they are rereading their favorite books.)

2.      Of the books you’ve read in the last year, which are your favorites, and why?

b-11 “My two favorite series are The Heroes of Olympus, by Rick Riordan, and The Kane Chronicles, by Rick Riordan. I like them because a.) They both get connected in the last book in the Kane Chronicles.  b.) They help you learn. c.) They both have a lot of suspense and adventure.”

g-11 “The Heroes of Olympus series, by Rick Riordan, because they make me feel like I’m a part in their quest. Usually I imagine somebody is making my story. I pretend I am reading a book like rick Riordan’s that explains how I am feeling & what I’m going through. The books are so well written.”

g-9 “The Harry Potter series, Out of My Mind, and the Half Upon a Time series. Because I really like there was magic in the Harry Potter and Half Upon a Time series. And in Out of My Mind, an eleven year old girl is in a wheelchair and can’t move or talk, except for her thumbs, which she uses to press keys on a computer to help her communicate. She is one of the smartest kids in her school, but at first, no one knows.”

(Now I have to read that one. I’m a sucker for contemporary realism.)

 

3.      Are there certain things you like or look for in the books you choose to read?

b-11 “I look for adventure, suspense, sci-fi, drama, and mysteries. Oh, and fantasy.”

g-11 “Well, I like adventure and humor in a book.”

g-9 “Fantasy, realistic fiction, and animal books.”

4.      Has anything made you stop reading a book? If so, what?

b-11 “No. But I won’t read a book unless it has a good description on the back.”

g-11 “Yes. Like it’s not my type, or…huh. That’s it.”

g-9 “No, but if I don’t like what it says on the back, I won’t read it.”

 

5.      Do you recommend books to your friends?

b-11 “Yes! I always will recommend a good book to someone.”

g-11 “Heck yeah! Just did to my dad & sister! J

g-9 “Yes, because if I really like a book, I want my friends to see if they like it.”

      6.      What types of books would you like to read more?

b-11 “I would love to see more sci-fi books, mostly because I love technology, and it fascinates me at how it has advanced, and is still advancing.”

g-11 “I’d like to read more fantasy.”

g-9 “I answered that in number 3.” (Correct, as usual my lady.)

7.      Is there anything else you’d like to share with our blog readers and middle grade writers?

b-11 “If you have not read Rick Riordan’s books, I highly recommend you do. He packs a bunch of humor into a very serious plot/goal. Like how it would happen in real life. Please take his tips in his books. HE IS A GREAT AUTHOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<--That's 41 exclamation points, in case you wondered.)

g-9 “The picture on the front of the book is a very important part of the book. It draws the reader’s attention. You should make the front cover relate to the story in some way.”

 

The kids agreed to give some reviews of their favorite books for my next post in three weeks. Hope to see you then. (I guess it’s time for me to reread a Rick Riordan book from a writer’s mindset.)

Happy writing, everyone! 
Rob 

Four Comedy Tips to boost the LOLocity of your writing!

Don't roll your eyes.

Or groan.

Or do that thing where you let your mouth fall open and look around the room like everyone's sharing the exact same Has this dude's TV been stuck on PBS for the past 30 years? thought that's running through your head.

*takes deep breath*

I've just discovered the show "Community."

Okay, just to clear some things up:

1) I knew the show existed.
2) I never watched it because when someone told me about it I thought they were talking about "Entourage."
3) I hate "Entourage."

If I'd known then what I know now, though, I would've been a die-hard fan from season one. See, I've binge watched every episode of "Community" during the past few days and it was somewhere between the spaghetti western paintball episode and the MeowMeowBeenz one that got me thinking about my next blog post.

How do writers pull off comedy?

And that got me thinking about my favorite comedies and how much I enjoy putting humor into my own writing. I won't ever profess to be the world's funniest human... or man... or Tennessean for that matter. However, I will say I'm the funniest guy in my fifth grade class. Or at least somewhere in the top ten.

But I have learned a few ways to comedicize the words on my page. And being the nicest guy in my fifth grade class (or at least somewhere in the top twenty), I thought I'd share them with you.


Comedy tip # 1:

Don't try to be funny.

Weird, I know. But there's nothing that'll kill a comedy buzz like trying to force a joke. If you set out with the goal to write a funny line, chances are it'll end up flat. Unless you do it right and then it'll end up hilarious. But if you were doing it right then you probably wouldn't be reading this. Would you?

Comedy needs to be organic. The best hilarious line rarely begins with something our characters say or do. It begins with the environment around them and then letting your characters react to it. Allowing the funny to grow from situations the characters get themselves into makes it so much more real. It'll help build the funny so you can get the biggest laugh-out-loud possible. And allowing your humor to manifest out of reaction versus only action will help the funny be much more specific.

Which leads us to...

Comedy tip # 2:

Be specific.

Killer segue. Nailed it.

Being specific doesn't mean tell the joke as specifically as possible. In fact, I'd suggest not doing that. I mean, think about it. Knock knock jokes are short for a reason, right? Nobody wants a twelve minute description of who or what's at the door. We don't have time for that. Comedy doesn't have time for that.

No, being specific means to let your characters' voices help tell the joke. We don't all react to situations the same way, so neither should our characters. The best example I can give is through Troy from "Community." He never thinks. He's never had to. So when he reacts to something, it usually ends up being hilarious. For us. Not so much for him.

Each character on that show is unique with a very specific voice. And when the writers throw a situation at them, they've got a goldmine of funny to dig into. Of course, coming up with the joke is only half the battle. So what's the other half? 

I'm glad you asked. It's...

Comedy tip # 3:

Use comedic timing.

Okay, so this one's a toughie. Comedic timing relies so heavily on actors and their ability to deliver the punchline. So how do we do that in our own writing? Simple. Act it out.

When you write a scene and you're convinced it's the funniest thing since Mel Brooks, test it out. Read it aloud and see if it works. Are there places where you need to pause? Is the joke sitting in just the right place? Does the scene drag?

In your head it may be perfect. But your reader isn't in your head so you need to make sure the funny translates onto the page.

Perhaps the punchline springs a little too quickly. If so, add in a little pause. Maybe an awkward silence settles over the group right before the Ha ha! moment. Maybe the line is amazing, but something happens right after it that sort of chokes out the joke before people can really enjoy it. If it takes too long to get to the funny, then do some trimming.

Everyone likes humor. Unless it's fashionably late. Then it's just passé.

Comedy tip # 4:

Try the rule of three.

The rule of three is simple. If something happens once, it's an occurrence. If it happens twice, it's repetitive. If it happens three times, it's a motif. And we all love motifs.

So don't be scared to revisit a joke. Now that doesn't mean just copy and paste and expect to get the same laughs.

But let's say you've got a character who, at the beginning of a scene, reacts to a Miley Cyrus song. And it's the funniest thing you've ever written. It wouldn't be totally out of the question to have that same character bring it back up somewhere in the middle, making everyone give him or her a collective eye roll. And then if he or she brings it up again right at the end, it'd set up a nice way for the other characters to react before rolling into the next scene.


Well that was easy!

Sort of.

Writing comedy is tough, but the good news is that it gets easier. Just like writing anything, really. The more you practice it, let yourself fail at it, and refuse to give up on it, the better you'll be at it.

Don't stop there, though. Pick up a book that never fails to get you giggling and figure out what makes it so funny. There's no formula for humor, but there are ways to get the biggest bang for your comedic buck. And you have my word that the four comedy tips above are a good place to start. You know you can trust me because I'm the most honest blogger on this site.

Or at least somewhere in the top six.

Happy writing!