How
do you know when it’s time to quit?
Time
to give up on a manuscript?
Time
to stop querying?
Or
even time to stop writing all together?
Straight
talk… Last year I wanted to quit. Not just stop querying my YA manuscript, not
just stop writing my MG WIP, not just stop generating and outlining ideas, I
wanted to quit everything with respect to writing.
So.
Many.
Times.
I
honestly lost count of the number of times I said it, and I thought it infinitely
many more times than I admitted it. Life was crazy with selling/buying houses,
planning a wedding, changing jobs, life drama, and numerous deaths in the
family. Writing was the last thing on my mind, and yet… I still kept doing it.
For
the sake of transparency, writing certainly wasn’t happening every day, let
alone once a week. I was lucky if I was putting some words on the page once or
twice a month. I hated my WIP, and despite many full requests for my YA
manuscript while in the query trenches, I was tired.
Tired
of waiting.
Tired
of writing.
Tired
of hearing no.
Just
plain tired.
I
wasn’t just at the end of my rope, I was done.
Finished.
Finito.
The
end.
Soooooo
Over it.
All.
Of.
It.
But
there was a little voice in my head telling me not to give up. And countless
other VERY LOUD voices of critique partners yelling at me to keep going,
telling me that my time was coming, and threatening to kill me if I quit (as if
that would help :-P).
Well
if I’m being 100% truthful, I did quit. Numerous times. I just didn’t tell anyone
that I went long stretches without putting anything on the paper, without
sending queries, without thinking about writing. But my mind kept wandering
back to YA manuscript that I believed in more than anything. And those MG
dragons kept creeping into my thoughts and threatening to torch me if I didn’t
finish their story.
And as much as I hated every word I typed as it happened, every time I revisited the previous writing session, I secretly thought… maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought. So I kept going until one day not so long ago, I wrote two of my most favorite words…
And as much as I hated every word I typed as it happened, every time I revisited the previous writing session, I secretly thought… maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought. So I kept going until one day not so long ago, I wrote two of my most favorite words…
And
then something amazing happened. I got excited. I pulled out my magical editing
axe, swung it around a bit, and started dreaming about fixing that giant
steaming pile of poo I just created. I wanted to keep going because I knew my
time wasn’t up. I hadn’t completed the things I wanted to do. And despite everything,
I still believed in myself. Not to mention the angry horde of CP’s running
after me with torches and pitchforks. ;)
And
while I haven’t had “my time” yet, I know one day it will come. And when it
does, I’ll look back and wonder why I let all that stuff get to me so much…
hopefully. **nervous laugh**
6 comments:
Beautiful post, Jamie! I felt like that so many times while working on my book. And then I felt like it again with my most recent book and the two in between. Writing is exhilarating and heartbreaking and torturous, but most of all, rewarding. Your post is so true!
yes so many emotions rolled into one!
Love it! Keep going!
Thanks I'm trying ;)
Despite the admonitions not to, quitting is a right, and it is OK. As many times as you need... ;)
very true! Sometimes you need to quit for a break!
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