In which I tell the truth—the whole truth

Recently my Facebook “memories” told me I’d signed the contract for my first middle-grade book exactly two years ago. A couple months from now, my third middle-grade book will make its way into the world. Three books in a little over two years. Whew! In the midst of all the writing, revising, waiting, celebrating, stressing, promoting, doubting, and hoping, I’ve been thrilled and humbled to have my books land on some good lists and even win an award. It’s been a whirlwind. An amazing, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening whirlwind. But here’s the thing:

If Facebook were to tell the whole story, you’d also know that just over two years ago, none of this had happened. Just over two years ago, I’d acquired an impressive and, truth be told, daunting number of rejection letters. I’d been dropped by my agent. I’d been in the “zero request club” in PitchWars. I’d wrestled with separating writing from publishing, so the roller-coaster ride of being in this industry wouldn’t completely crush my creative spirit. I’d had to dig deep in my battle-worn heart and answer the question, Is this worth it? I’d had to decide whether or not I had it in me to keep hoping.

That hard stuff doesn’t tend to make it onto Facebook. Yes, I’m guilty of putting forth a curated life on social media. (I have my reasons, but I’m not sure they’re good ones.) And so those who look, see part of the truth. And it’s not only with the writing side of things – it’s personal stuff, too. You see the celebrations, the sunny days, the happy-moments snapshots. But I don’t often share the less-great things – the devastating news, the loss and grief, the stress and hurt and disappointment. Truth is, these past two years have had all that in the mix, too.

Where am I going with this? I’m not even sure. But I’ve been thinking lately that social media, with all its good news, yay-hooray curated snippets of people’s lives, can sometimes have the unintended result of discouraging others. So today, in telling the whole truth about my journey (albeit in a very abbreviated form), I hope to say this: Hang on. Keep hoping. The road can be long and hard, but your good news might be around the next corner, or the one after that (but in the meantime, hey--did you see that sunrise? notice that weird twisted tree?). 

Embrace the journey that is uniquely yours, with its mountaintops and dark valleys, long hard paths and surprising vistas. Connect with others who are walking a similar road--we're in this together! Celebrate together, weep together, share the load. Trust that the journey is worth it, and don’t give up.

The Changing Tides Of Social Media and How To Keep Up!

It's long been known that social media is the behemoth of book promotion... okay, any promotion. It's a wide open opportunity to access your target audience in their natural habitat!

What's interesting about social media, though, is that it's always changing. Like, one day Myspace was hot and the next no one even knows if it still exists. It's also important to note that different demographics tend to hang out on different social media platforms.

It's not enough to have a Facebook page and call it a day. It's probably not enough to have a decent Twitter account anymore. Why? Because your target audience very well may not be using those platforms (even if they were two years ago).

This means that what works for an author of a different category, or even genre, may not work for you.

Keeping up with the changing times can be tough because it means learning a new platform and building an audience all over again.

Since I've learned about the rise in popularity of Instagram (particularly for teens), I've been working on ways to build my audience and content there. A few ways I've done that:

1) Use it! Dig around on the site and learn what's working for other people. I've found that pretty pictures of books is actually a thing that pulls in lots of people! Fun!

2) Learn the ins and outs and how to reach people. Every platform is different so learn what makes this new one tick. For me, this meant a lot of googling! (Google never goes out of style). Example: hashtags rule Instagram! So learn the good ones for what you want to post/who you want to reach and use lots!

3) Find your "thing". You want to have a focus if you want to build an audience (this is like branding. They follow you because they want more of what you’re giving. They probably don’t want tons of selfies unless you’re really good at makeup!(which is also a thing!) For Instagram that one is pretty easy since as authors we all tend to LOVE books, and there is a huge community of book lovers who want to see things ALL ABOUT BOOKS (but make sure the pictures are *pretty*). For other Platforms that can be a bit trickier. If you don’t have something specific you know you want to post about, tag onto what someone else is doing well and try to make a twist on it. With my Instagram I’m doing the bookish things but also I started doing book page crafts along with it.

4) Start posting! Every day! One of the keys to being successful in social media it consistent content. Most of the pages with higher interaction post more than once a day. You can’t build an audience if you only post every once in a while.

5) Interact! Remember that this is SOCIAL media. Be social! Look at other people’s posts, see what’s out there and tell them when you like it! Answer questions. Give advice if they ask for it and you have something to say. When you interact with them, they’re more likely to turn around and interact with you.

In the end, social media is a beast. It can boost your chances of a book deal, it can sell books once you’re published—but boy can it be scary to approach. Take it one step at a time and have fun. It won’t happen in a day so don’t stress. If you use it to show off something you love to do you will do just fine!

What has been your experience with social media? Do you have any additional tips? (I’d love some for Instagram! ;) )

Changing the World a Paragraph at a Time

As I’m writing this, I can hear breaking news being televised in the next room, reporting that police officers in Baton Rouge have been shot and killed. After I first heard about this and had a chance to process my now all-too-familiar shock and disgust, it occurred to me that our country has reached the point when the mourning periods during which we lower the American flag to half staff are now overlapping, due to the frequency of such tragedies. These events of extraordinary violence have become so familiar we use the names of their locations as shorthand: Orlando. Baton Rouge. Minneapolis. Dallas. San Bernardino. Charleston. Newtown. All of this is to say nothing of the wider problems also occurring throughout the world.

When I was a kid in the age range of the middle grade reader, our most immediate access to the events of the day was either the evening news, the newspaper that arrived the following morning, or occasional thirty-second bulletins on the radio. Social media and a twenty-four hour news cycle defined by divisiveness, hatred, and fear has to make it harder for kids these days. Even if they don’t closely follow what’s happening, they live in a world saturated by all variety of things going wrong. As they get older, they become more aware of the boundaries that separate people as lines are drawn between ideologies that don’t agree. Talking about things like politics and religion have become conversational third rails, since expressing beliefs or aligning yourself with any kind of strong opinion too readily invites conflict.

When thinking about problems like these, it’s hard for me to separate my roles as a teacher and a writer, because, for better or worse, I see them both as much as who I am as what I do. Teachers can have a great deal of influence on their students. They plant seeds regarding character. They try to act as role models worth emulating. When the school year is done they send their students into the future and usually will never know how much difference they made, if any at all. It’s frustrating, but it’s something you learn to accept. In the end, all you can do is hope you made a difference.

One way teachers work to make that difference is through books. They put a lot of thought into what they read to their classes, and what titles are included in their classroom libraries. They’ve all seen students unable to choose a new book to read, and usually can figure out which books those perplexed students will enjoy. They help desperate parents of reluctant readers find books their children might connect with.

This is where writers come in. We need to give those kids books to read, and ideas to think about. We make our characters handle difficult situations and resolve the conflicts that follow. Some of those conflicts are things middle grade readers might experience in their daily lives, or are only aware of from a third-person distance. Some might even be so utterly fantastical they could never happen in real life, but they can still give readers things to consider. 

We also give them examples of consequences that follow certain decisions and actions. I think it’s fair to say that most writers have favorite books from when we were younger. How many of those books might have helped shape our view of the world as adults? 
Even a book intended to be little more than a fun story has merit. Maybe silly is exactly the kind of thing that will win over a reluctant reader, and convince them to broaden their horizons and try reading something new. Maybe it just provides that reader with a welcome escape from what they’re facing in the real world.

Not every book that makes it on a library shelf is going to change the trajectory of the entire human race, but that doesn’t mean it won’t challenge some reader out there. Even when we’re frustrated enough to scream from all of the work that comes with our drafting, and revising, and editing, and revising again, everything we do is a small step in the direction of someday making a difference. When we write, our goal is to communicate an idea or provoke an emotion at some level. Isn’t that ultimately the purpose of art?

It’s easy to feel helpless when things in the world are going so wrong, and so many problems feel like they’re beyond our control. The next time you sit down to outline, or stress-spiral through your notes, or hack away at your current work-in-progress, remember that each paragraph you write is a contribution to the greater cultural thumbprint of literature. Writing something can make a difference, whether it ends up on bestseller lists, or is only enjoyed by a small circle of people, or just helps you understand your own world better. You probably won’t ever get to know what kind of reach your work has or how many people could be influenced by it, but that’s okay.

Regardless of where you are on your own writing journey, there will always be value in the effort. Your effort could someday plant an idea with someone, and help them find the tools they need to make their world a better place.

Social Networking: Pitch Contests, Writing Pals, and Keeping it Real

If you found your way here, you are very likely a writer who has some skill navigating the universe of social networking. By some standards I’m fairly active in social media and social networking. I post on Facebook daily, I’m semi-active on Twitter, I have an Instagram account, and I’ve maintained a blog with regular updates for several years. But when compared to many, many other people, my online presence is barely a blip on the radar.

Take Twitter, for example. Before I knew anything about pitch contests, my Twitter activity amounted to little more than a few dozen followers and a snarky tweet every couple of weeks. Truly minimal involvement. I had only even started an account just to see what all the fuss was about. It was a semi-engaging way to follow musicians and authors and comedians, and occasionally find some interesting bit of information. I was much more (and, truthfully, still am) involved with Facebook for social networking, since that’s where my most of my friends and family are.

Then one of my cousins, also a middle grade writer, told me about this contest he’d read about on Twitter called Pitch Wars. A lot of people were excited about it. He was querying at that time and knew I was, so he sent me a link with the info. Long story short — we both entered, were both chosen as first alternates, and many happy days followed. My participation in Pitch Wars opened me up to this whole world of Twitter pitch contests I had no idea existed. Months later I was a finalist in Pitch Madness, which led me to finding an agent, which in turn snowballed my Twitter presence into something, while remaining relatively modest, much wider than it had been before. There's one important take-away for you -- whatever the environment you cultivate for yourself in social networking is like, you need to be prepared for it to head off in unexpected directions, and sometimes without much notice.

Twitter is now the network I primarily use to connect with the writing community. I’ve met some interesting people there I’m happy to know, and even though the frequency of my tweeting seems to come and go in waves, I try to stay in touch with them to keep from fading into the background. I don’t see myself ever being someone to tweet fifty times in a three-hour period after getting caught up in a four-way conversation, but I like the feeling of knowing there’s this greater writing community out there. I like seeing how active it can be, and knowing how welcoming it is. 

But I still wonder: Am I holding myself back by not tweeting more frequently, or reaching out to connect with more people? How much difference will having hundreds vs. thousands of followers ultimately make, either in landing a book deal or with all of the business that would come next? How vital is this for an author in the world of 21st century publishing? (And what kind of writer would I be if I wasn't constantly inventing new ways to second guess myself??)

In the end, it's fair to say that however you use social networking as a part of your writing platform boils down to two things. First, whatever interactions you have with people online need to be genuine, especially if you hope to build strong networking relationships. Most network-savvy people seem to have good filters for what’s real and what’s not, and something real is always going to give you a stronger connection.

Secondly, and probably even more important, the writing needs to be there. People might promote your book deal or retweet your cover reveal or interview you for their blog because they want to be supportive, but giving them some writing they’ll love can be very compelling motivation for them to stay on your team (as well as to keep you on theirs). A long list of friends and followers could be a good way to get people to climb up on your platform and have a look at what's going on, but the goal is getting them to stick around.

And remember while you're out there tweeting and posting and blogging and making all kinds of new pals and finding amazing critique partners, it never hurts to simply be nice to people. We're lucky to have so much niceness already as a part of our greater online writing community, and the more we can spread it around, the better. Both the Internet and the real world can always use more of it. 

The Real Trick To Social Media

Social media can be a complicated business. While the internet, in general, and social media specifically have made it simpler, cheaper, and more efficient to spread a message across, literally, the entire world, it also makes accidentally stepping into a ill-considered quagmire or misspeaking so badly you’re considering shoving your whole leg up to the knee in your mouth All. Too. Easy.

And that’s to say nothing of the frothing horde of angry users who apparently view every online interaction as a kind of electron-driven Cyber-Thunderdome, where “Two Comments enter, One comment leaves”, and every hint of opposing opinion needs to be challenge, shamed, and, sometimes (horrifyingly) threatened.

For someone writing Middle Grade books or just wanting to get the word out about a new project or something awesome a friend has going on, it can all be a little daunting.

But really, my buddy and fellow Middle-Grade Minded contributor, Tom, already covered all of this with a much more colorful brush than I’ve got in a post last week.

The one thing he touched on, but didn’t quite cover fully, though, was one making genuine connections through online exchanges, and that’s exactly why I find social media so compelling. Don’t believe me? Well, as the old saying goes, showing is better than telling, so I present to you this Storify’d twitter conversation from Friday:

Fried Chicken at the Clam Back, (A play in 60+ tweets)

Admittedly, there’s nothing about this exchange that makes anyone’s manuscript stronger or necessarily improves someone’s art, but instead demonstrates how four or five kid-lit’ers from a variety of geographic places and backgrounds can use social media to great effect. Over the course of a conversation including things as ridiculous as singing clams and chicken disco with some people I knew and others I didn’t (yet), my book-loving, art-forward tribe grew a little bit and we all had a pretty good chuckle on a Friday afternoon.

And that, to me, is kid of both the why and the how of using social media, especially for someone who’s been a painfully shy introvert all of his life.

Pud’n

Advice from a YouTuber

Emily Wass is a sixteen-year-old YouTuber. In just over a year, her BWithEmMarie channel has built a following of over 36,000 subscribers. Please welcome Emily as she talks about YouTube and how writers might use it to build their online presence.

How did you get started with YouTube?

I got started with YouTube because I have always liked making videos. It gives me an opportunity to share something I love while helping other people along the way. 

What is your channel about?

On my channel I make primarily DIY and lifestyle videos. I use it as a way to help out younger girls and hopefully inspire them to pursue what they enjoy. 

How did you gain so many subscribers in such short period of time?

I gained subscribers by making videos that are popular and are known to get a lot of views, but then putting my own twist on it. This helped bring people to my channel and kept them interested.

How often do you watch other people’s YouTube channels and comment on their Instagram/Twitter/Facebook posts?

I watch other people's videos every day. I love seeing what other YouTubers create and get inspiration from it. I often comment on their social media because YouTube is a community where everyone generally supports each other. 

Do you think YouTube could be used as a way for children’s writers to promote their books? How might writers do this?

YouTube could definitely be used as a way for children's writers to promote their books. One of the best ways to do this would be by contacting YouTubers and having them talk about the book. It takes a lot of time and effort to build up an audience on YouTube, so having someone children already trust talk about a book would be the most beneficial. If a writer wants to post a video themself, they should make sure to include their face in it and talk directly to the camera. This will create a more personal relationship with viewers/potential readers.

Any other advice for writers hoping to use social media to build connections with readers and other writers?

To build a social media following, it is important to be consistent. Focus on posting at least once a week, depending on the social platform. Don't worry about being professional; instead, act like you're having a conversation with a friend. This will attract people to your social media and create a connection with them. Also, interact with everyone who comments on your posts. Reply to the comments and have conversations. The more genuine you are, the more people will be interested.

Thank you, Emily!

Social Media - the gateway to the soul of a 24th century author!

Okay, just give me one second.....and done.

We're starting up with a new topic of discussion this month, folks. And that's social media. Now if you don't know much about social media, well then I'm not exactly sure how you got to this blog. But if you are involved in social media, then you may be asking yourself, "what the heck does social media have to do with me getting a book deal / agent / editor / etc."

I've got news for you. A LOT. Welcome to the 24th century....(i jumped ahead a few centuries).

We live in a world where anything and everything could be found out with a click of a button. Don't lie. You know you've sat on wikipedia for roughly four hours looking up pointless information on the Kardashians. ADMIT IT!!! Ahem...but here's the thing. It's a good thing, and a bad thing when you're talking about endless access to information, especially in the veins of social media. I figured I'd sit down and talk about some the PROS and CONS I've experienced with my dabbling in social media, and how it could benefit you as an upcoming author.

PROS

The absolute best thing about social media is that fellow writers are EVERYWHERE. I'm not even kidding when I say most if not all of my writer buddies have come out of twitter / blogs. Seriously, I wouldn't know anybody in the writing world if it wasn't for these methods of communications. I lack the time to attend conventions, so most of my exposure is through the interwebs massive tunnels of information.

But that's the great part about it. You are able to talk to writers from ALL OVER THE WORLD with different genre specialties, interests, knowledge, skills, and more. And above all, you can use this to your advantage. What better way to find a wide variety of critique partners than by utilizing social media. Post on twitter LOOKING FOR A CRIT PARTNER - LETS TRADE MS. I guarantee you'll get a thousand responses. Most people on social media are looking to help one another.

And who couldn't use a few writer pals? *waves at all his friends!*

CONTESTS

If you haven't seen them already, now is the time to go looking. There are dozens of writer contests out there year round that can help even the newest offer make his or her mark in this cutthroat industry. I'm talking about such events like PITCH MADNESS, PITCH WARS, SUN VS SNOW, etc. Google them. Look them up. Check out their blogs. And be amazed.

I've been lucky enough to be a mentor in some of these events, and the exposure to talent you are going to receive is awesome. So many writers are involved in these contests with one goal in mind. To help new writers.

The amount of success stories out there coming from these contests is mind blowing, and we a owe a lot of it to the people who take their time to organize these events.

AGENTS AND EDITORS ARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!!

Trust me when I say that most of the agents and editors live and breath social media. It's a superb way to pimp their clients novels, or seek new talent. Heck, there's an event on twitter called #MSWL (manuscript wish list) where agents call out what they're looking for. I kid you not, I FOUND MY AGENT THIS WAY. SEE!? SOCIAL MEDIA WORKS!

Not to mention, its a great way to put your foot in the door and actually have some open conversations with agents and editors. They're people too. Don't be afraid to message them or tweet them. They'll talk to you!

PLATFORM BUILDING

You may not think about this much now, especially if you're trying to perfect your novel, but platform building is a huge...HUUUUGE part of the industry. Editors and agents like to see you establishing yourself outside your novel, and working on establishing some sort of platform before you even have a book published. Whether that's taking part in conversations online on twitter, or creating a blog / podcast, or just being vocal, building that platform helps jump start the sales of your book. After all, it's a bit easier to sell your book when thousands of people know about you already, right?

I started building my platform for my first novel COPERNICUS NERDICUS ( a middle grade novel based around video games) a long time ago. I created a youtube channel, and a blog based around video games to help promote my interests and gain some fans. Although CN is shelved for the moment, and I'm working on other novels, I do have a growing group of followers that would help me in the future. I HOPE :)

Then again.....maybe I still just do it for fun because I love video games so much...but that's another story lol.

Now these are just a small portion of things that are positive about social media..I just wanted to dabble in it. But it's not always bunnies and cupcakes.

Social Media can backfire.

CONS

CRUELTY

Once you're on social media, you're always on social media. And I'm not talking about being addicted to it lol. I'm talking about be careful about what you say. Because things spread like wild fire. If you turn into some sort of bad egg, or if you insult someone, or you start spouting nonsense. It is going to bite you in the arse, real hard and real fast. Which brings me to rule #1 of social media.

Don't be an a**

Not everyone is friendly on social media. In fact, most people are downright cruel. Don't turn into one of them. Be positive and make it a positive experience for everyone around you. Trust me, its a small industry despite how big it is. Don't dig yourself a hole you can't get out of.

JEALOUSY

I'll be the first to admit it. But I do get jealous. Everyone does, and if you say you don't you're lying to yourself. When you find yourself on social media, get ready to be exposed to a lot of people sharing their success stories.

Now let me explain. When someone I know announces signing with an agent, or signing with a publisher or getting a book deal, or whatever...I am ecstatic for that person. I love seeing my friends succeed. But then I get hit with it. That little twang....that evil jealousy bug that hits me for 2 seconds. And it's not even that I'm jealous, it's more like I'm asking myself "WHEN IS IT MY TURN?" - It's going to happen, and there's no escaping it, especially if you're on social media.

The important thing is to step away. Don't start doubting yourself. I've done it before, but luckily enough I have some awesome friends that I can talk to about it. Accept it. Talk to someone. And know that your time will come.

I don't know you, but I have faith in you.

Well, that's about it....

I only just scratched the surface folks, but let me know. How has social media benefited you? Do you use it, and if so how often? What do you like about social media in terms of being an author?

KEEP ON WRITING PEOPLE!

When You're Social Media Awkward

Oh, how much our world has changed in the past few decades. First came Aol mail, then messenger, and chat rooms.

Then there was Facebook and smart phones…. And the world was changed. 

The list of social media sites that have popped up over the years is a mile long. And ways it has changed our daily life is likely even more massive. It’s not just social anymore. It’s business. We’re told to take advantage. Books can find a readership on twitter, and Facebook, on Tumblr, or Instagram etc etc etc. If you’re not on social media you’re missing an opportunity! Or, at least that’s what they say. 

So many writers have slaved over their work for years, to all of the sudden be told they MUST have an online following.

And que epic freak out.

So how do you navigate these strange waters when you’re social media ignorant? Or worse—Social media AWKWARD. 

We’re not all social butterflies! You are not alone!

Not everyone is made for social media. Not all of us are clever and funny, not all of us are social media likable. We don’t know what to say, or the things we say come across… wrong. It’s frustrating, especially when we feel like our very careers depend on it!

So I’ve gathered a small list of tips to help those of you who feel lost in the oblivion of the internet.

1)  Experiment. Try different social media sites. Play around. Don’t be afraid to try something new! You might find something that really fits you. Not good with writing short tweets? Or you end up too long winded on Facebook? Try Instagram where you talk with images! Or join a writing site like WattPad where you post stories instead of clever posts! You might even find something completely different that you totally didn’t expect!

2) You don’t need to be a social butterfly in order to chat about your favorite fandom! A big Game Of Thrones fan? (or Orphan Black, or Pretty Little Lairs or Survivor… anything!) Awesome! Post about it (but be weary of spoilers). Share articles through the week that you find interesting. Pictures. Fan theories. Fanfictions! Books you find that fans might enjoy. Just make it something YOU are interested in. If you don’t know what to say to make friends, then just talk about what you want to talk about. It may take a little while… but folks interested in the same things will find you.

3) Not really into TV? That’s okay, you could do something simple like posting inspirational quotes. Or favorite book quotes. Or interesting facts you find online. Or music lyrics. If people know what to expect from you, and they have similar interests, they’ll keep checking to see what you have to say now.

4) Get involved! Find contests, or chats and jump in. You can volunteer to help, or join as an entrant. This is an organic way to meet people because you have a specific purpose. Things to talk about. Like-minded people will automatically be in the same places. Offer critiques to meet fellow writers. Suggest good books to find fellow book lovers. If you’re an artist, offer to draw their characters etc etc.

And if all of that doesn’t work, or doesn’t fit you. Here’s my last bit of advice.

5)   Stop stressing. Here’s the truth of the matter—you do not need to be on social media in order to sell books. No matter what anyone tells you—it is NOT necessary (even if you write non-fiction. There are other ways of gaining a platform.) Good books and word of mouth are what sell books. Sure, an online platform is very helpful. But being fake or spam-y online is worse than having no online platform at all. People know when you are being fake.

If you are not great at promotions, you could hire someone to do it for you (which might be necessary if you self-publish or don’t have any support from your publisher.) Or you could just focus on your next book. Each new book you publish will expand your brand. Expand your readership. So if you want to sell books and are awful at social media— it’s okay to just focus on writing great books.

 Everyone’s career is completely different. You need to find what’s best for you and plan around your limitations.

It’s okay to be social media awkward. You are not alone!

Social Media and Social Change

Let's be honest here for a minute. I've seen a lot of discussions lately on various forms of social media about representation of minorities in children's literature. I think it's amazing that people are coming together and bringing these issues to light. We can't change the current culture if we remain silent. That said, as a member of some minorities and not others, I still often feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation, even in cases where I am the minority. I feel stuck, like I can't win when it comes to discussing and representing diversity in literature. Not that it's a competition, but that it's so hard to gain any ground.

I 100% agree that there isn't enough representation of a variety of scenarios that we see around the world. But sometimes it seems that if you don't try to include representation you are ignoring the world's current state. And if you do include diversity, there is always someone who has a situation that doesn't agree with your representation of said character or situation. Darned if you do and darned if you don't.

So what are we as writers to do when it comes to changing the culture of diversity?

Research

First and foremost like any other topic, do your homework. You wouldn't write a novel about the Spanish Civil War if you knew nothing about it. Same goes for minorities. Take the time to research what it's like, the struggles those groups have gone through and the triumphs they've made. And then talk to people who represent those groups. Lots of people. No two people's experiences are the same. While sometimes you will find trends and similarities that may not always be the case. So make sure you get members of those minorities to proof your stuff. Get their perspective. But like any other critiques realize this isn't a one size fits all scenario.

Be Respectful

We are all human, we all make mistakes. If you see an error or something offensive, don't just fly off the handle and gang up on someone. It might be an honest mistake. Politely engage and discuss the situation. We are all here to learn and do better. The old adage you can catch more flies with honey applies here. Honest discussions can be tough, and locking down emotions can be hard as everyone is entitled to their feelings, but I've found a quick, hey did you realize this might offend people in this group goes a lot further than hey jerkwad. A lot of times people don't even realize what they said was offensive and bringing it to light gets the problem corrected quickly and prevents future issues from that person.

Listen

Just as we should be respectful when approaching others with issues, we need to listen when people tell us something is a problem. It's hard to understand the situations that each unique person has gone through. We couldn't have possibly experienced them all. So when dealing with minorities that's often our time to shut up, listen, and try to understand what it's like to walk in their shoes.

Keep Talking

Have honest discussions and chats. Bring issues and information to light. Challenge those unconscious biases. We all have them, myself included. I've caught myself in phrases that directly conflict with my ideals sometimes and it's because those thoughts are so ingrained in our society and our thoughts. Awareness is the first step. Recognizing that we have biases and that we can do better is tough, but the more we realize what biases we have and work to correct them the better things will be.

Social media is a great place for bringing issues to light and raising awareness. Ideas spread quickly online and people take notice. So do your homework, keep talking, keep listening, and most of all respect one another. It is our unique experiences that make us all such wonderful and interesting people. Diversity isn't a competition. It's something to be celebrated. Because at the end of the day, when we bring all of our differences to the table, the world becomes a much stronger place. Social media is the perfect arena to come together and honor our uniqueness. Enjoy the discussions and learn from them. Spread the knowledge and make the world better.

Social Media Don'ts

Social media is a wonderful thing. Except when it's not. I love social media, twitter, facebook, tmblr, blogs, websites, etc. They are all awesome ways to communicate with people. But when you abuse them, you send people in the opposite direction. So here are some of my social media pet peeves.

Automatically assuming I will follow you back or asking for a follow back

I follow people who I engage with and I find interesting. I read my entire yes ENTIRE twitter feed so I follow people I like hearing from.

Posting the same blog post repeatedly on a social media site within an hour or even a few minutes of itself with different taglines

It's fine to repost at different times of the day to catch different audiences, but if you are tweeting and retweeting the same post a million times in a short time span, just stop it!

Music or autoplay videos on your blog or website

Nothing makes me leave faster than random music on a site that I can't find and turn off. I'll just close the window and not come back.

Popups on your site forcing me to look at certain content or forcing me to sign up for your mailing list

If I can't view your site without being accosted by random windows, I won’t stick around. If your site is easy to navigate, clutter free, and well labeled, I'll find your content. No need to shove it down my throat.

Being a jerk

Remember that old saying about treating people the way you want to be treated? Yeah that. Just because you don’t have to look someone in the face doesn’t mean you get to be an instant A-hole. Don't do it. Enough said.

Buy my book! Buy My Book! BUY MY BOOK!

It's fine to advertise your awesome book, but I want to know more than just your book is on sale. Your social media stream should be about 80% you, 20% buy my book. And that's honestly being generous. If I know you, I'm more likely to buy your book anyway without you mentioning it. Just think about that.

Nothing but rants

I get it. We all get frustrated sometimes and want to help others, but if your entire social stream is rant after rant after rant, I'm going to unfollow you. I want to learn about you not just what bothers you.

Nothing but negativity

We all have our horrible moments. We all even tweet or share them sometimes. But if your entire feed is woe is me, and everything sucks, I’m going to start ignoring you. I have enough of negativity in my life and I don't need that from you 100% of the time. If it continues, I will unfollow, as negativity just begets more negativity.

Tweets at me to buy your book

I'm on twitter/facebook/tmblr to get to know you. Don't assault me with links to buy your book. The same goes for any other things you might be selling, including but not limited to editing services, website design, cover design, publicity sales, marketing etc. I don't click random links from people I don't know, and if you shove your book/services down my throat I'm going to spit it out and run screaming.

Auto DM's

Just don't. They are annoying. Especially with links. I won’t click them anyway.

Pitching your books at agents

Unless it's for a specific contest and it’s requested that you pitch directly to the agent via social media, DON'T EVER DO THIS! They have submission guidelines for a reason. Follow them! Doing anything other than that will piss them off and quite possibly put you on a black list.

Follow and Unfollow me fifteen hundred times

You got my attention with the first follow. The subsequent follows turn that positive attention into an annoyance. If you continue to follow and unfollow me, I will never ever follow you back and most likely will block you.

Hashtag free for all

Use a hashtag or two to find your audience, but if you put a million I'm just going to get annoyed. You can vary your hashtags as you vary your posts throughout the day but don't overload your posts with them. This is how annoying you are:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57dzaMaouXA
 

Unreadable blog/website

I love color don't get me wrong, but if your website is blinding, the text is too small, or the colors make it otherwise unreadable I'm not going to stick around.

Social media is great. It brings people together, especially within the writing community. I have found so many wonderful people and support through social media. Just keep in mind that if you annoy people it could hurt your brand and/or your sales. In general, be nice, be happy, be supportive, and don’t incessantly annoy anyone! Those are some of my social media pet peeves. What are some of yours?