The Pros of Cons! (Conferences, that is)

    Ok. It's been a really great year for me. After years of trying to get published, after dozens and dozens of rejections, my middle grade book was finally, actually, for-real, still-can't-believe-it published this January by Scholastic Press.

    Since then, I've been asked the following question several times: what is the most valuable piece of advice you would give to someone wanting to make it as a writer?

Inevitably I start with the same advice everyone gives: “WRITE TONS” (because it's, you know, true) and “READ TONS” (for the same reason). But then I get a bit more down to brass tacks, and my advice gets (perhaps) more helpful: You wanna take your writing – and writing career – to the next level? Get your rear to a writing conference.

    Seriously. I can mark with a clear, solid line the moment when the trajectory of my writing and publishing journey took a dramatic turn for the better. After being encouraged by several people for several years, I finally registered for our little local writing conference. It's small (about 100 people), short (a day and a half), and has a decidedly more adult-market emphasis. But it didn't matter. It was totally eye-opening.

    I took a workshop on crafting taut, concise scenes. I took a workshop on building believable, dynamic characters. I learned how to be smart about querying agents. I had my mind blown open by a class about how to effectively structure your plot to keep the action moving, the reader reading, and the stakes high.

   I connected with the other writers around me, something I hadn't done up until that point. My writing had always been a personal, private thing – almost a secret. To spend the weekend with a group of people who had the same passion and struggles as me was inspiring and invigorating. I was not just some frustrated hack with a pile of rejection letters – I was part of a community, part of a tribe that was working at improving our craft and learning the ins and outs of a crazy, confounding industry.

    After that first conference, I was hooked. I attended the big annual SCBWI in LA (overwhelming, but in a good way), and several smaller regional SCBWI conferences. At each one I connected with more writers, learned more about good writing, and gained more confidence in how the writing and publishing world works.

    A couple years and several conferences later, I met my agent at a conference. She liked the sound of my story, and asked for the manuscript. And it's been a wild, joyful ride ever since. And the ticket for that ride, truthfully, was attending that very first conference.

    Yeah, you can learn stuff online. Sure, you could listen to writing podcasts and buy books about writing and even read blogs about it (eh-hem). And you should. But there is just no substitute for being in the same room with other writers, for having a great instructor pull back the curtain on the writing process right in front of you, for face-to-face contact with an agent or editor.

    So look around. Find a close writing conference, or pick a farther one and make a fun trip out of it. It doesn't have to be a “children's” conference (although I can't recommend and praise SCBWI events enough) – good writing is good writing, no matter the age of the audience.

    Get thee to a conference, if you haven't already.

    I can virtually guarantee you'll think it's worth every penny and every minute.

Here's a helpful online listing of writing conferences: http://writing.shawguides.com/

Here's a link to a list of SCBWI's regions: https://www.scbwi.org/region-map/

And here's a link to SCBWI's national annual events: http://www.scbwi.org/annual-conferences/

Less Than Three Anti Bullying Conference

On Saturday, October 19, 2013 I attended Less Than Three Conference, an Anti Bullying conference. Heather Brewer created Less Than Three Conference because she went looking for anti bullying conferences to speak at. When she didn't find any, she asked why aren't there conferences for this? She quickly changed the question to why am I not doing this?

Heather Brewer giving her keynote speech

And thus Less Than Three was born. It's name not only comes from the fact that the symbol makes a heart, but also because when bullying funding was offered, less than three schools accepted. LESS THAN THREE! A change has to be made and that's what Less Than Three is all about.

Bullying is such a hot topic because it's everywhere. It's in schools, at home, and online. Kids can't hardly escape it. Even adults experience it. So 21 MG/YA authors and 250 attendees came together to talk about bullying in four panels: Bullying in School, Self Bullying, Cyberbullying, and Bullies & LGBTQ.

Author Jennifer Brown defined bullying best in the Bullying in School Panel. She said it takes three things to comprise bullying:
1.) Intent to harm
2.) An imbalance of power
3.) Repitition

If someone says something once it's mean, twice is rude, and three times, that's bullying.

From there the discussion continued into speculation about why kids get bullied. A lot of times kids that are different from the norm, get teased. And sometimes all it takes is one negative comment to make someone feel bad about themselves. But just because someone is different doesn't mean they brought the bullying on themselves. Heck, even skinny, beautiful people have problems. There's so much pressure from society and we are so obsessed with celebrities and perfection, that we develop unrealistic expectations. These thoughts and words can be alienating and lonely.

The crowd during Heather Brewer's keynote speech

Loneliness is often what makes bullying feel so painful, where the power is often lost. But there is strength in numbers. Talking to trusted family members or friends can help the bullied gain back some of the power. Adults can help by not only listening but also by setting an example. Adults need to show the world that bullying is not okay. If you see someone being bullied engage that person and just talk to them. Not necessarily about what happened but about other things too. Give them a safe environment and let them know someone cares. It takes away the loneliness and the power the bully has.

It's shocking that there isn't a single school out there that doesn't have bullying. But some deal with it better than others. The more people that band together and speak out against bullying the better. Groups of people can make a difference. Individuals can too. It'd possible to call out bullying to people. Most people don't want to be mean. If you politely show someone they've crossed a line, many times they will stop. Everyone is somebody, and a lot of somebodies is a force to be reckoned with.

The Cyberbullying panel
From left to right: Sarah Bromley, Carrie Jones, Mari Mancusi, Lisa McMann, & Shannon Messenger

Bullying isn't just in person though. With the internet, smart phones, and social media, bullying has taken on a new form. There's so much hatred online. It's so easy to see a screen name and not the person behind it. Someone shouldn't have to worry about what they say and do and how others might hurt them. Unfortunately that is the world we now live in.

The important thing to remember is not to feed the trolls. It's best not to engage the bullies online. If you don't respond, the bullies will lose interest because they aren't getting a reaction from you. You're no longer fun to pick on. But you can take it a step further. If you don't like the direction an email, tweet, blog post, or message is headed STOP READING. Remove the bad from your life. Thankfully it's a lot easier to close a browser tab than to get away in person. A good general rule of thumb online is to ask yourself:
1.) Would my grandmother be upset if she read this?
2.) And will this come back to haunt me?
If you answer yes to either of those it's probably best not to post.

Unfortunately when someone hears the same negative things over and over again whether in person or online, sometimes they start to believe them. And because of this, people often don't believe the good things and the compliments when they come. No matter how many times someone tells them.

Self-bullying panel
From left to right: Rachel Caine, Ellen Hopkins, T.M. Goeglein, Cheryl Rainfield and Cole Gibsen

In response to the self hate, author Cheryl Rainfield told the audience "You don't deserve to be hurt. Don't deflect love. Trust it and let it in." Ellen Hopkins added, "Look at how other people are reacting to you for things you may not see in yourself. There's no such thing as perfect, it's different for everyone. Find what you love about yourself."

But it's often hard to understand ourselves let alone what others are going through. If we haven't been there how can we understand it? This is a common phrase people use to deflect help. But the knowledge from books can help. "It's important for us as readers to go through those tough experiences (in books) so we understand what others go through," author Rachel Caine said. And this is the power of words, what gift writers can give to the world. To share experiences and make others feel less lonely.

When Heather said, "The right people will find you. You will find your people." it stuck with me. It's such a powerful statement. The right people won't make fun, they will accept, they will stand by, they will help make a difference.

It's hard to do what's right. It's hard to ask for help. It's hard to be a voice. But that's what it's going to take to stand against bullying. Lots of people doing those things. Being the example. Acting as a support system. Making a difference. While we certainly don't have all the answers on how to fight bullying, we came a long way during Less Than Three. We shared great ideas. We created a support system. We showed the power and strength in numbers. And that is a great start.

For more awesome pictures and quotes from Less Than Three check out the hashtag #LessThanThree.

I've shared more of my experiences from the conference as well as some of my personal story about being bullied on my blog. Feel free to share your stories, experiences, and ideas below. Let's help spread the word and make a difference.

The Less Than Three authors trying to figure out how to make the less than three symbol for the photo
Back Row: Rachel Caine, A.S. King, Cheryl Rainfield, T.M. Goeglein, Susan Colasati, David Levithan, Lisa McMann, Dale E. Bayse, Andrew Smith, Carrie Jones
Middle Row: Alethea Kontis, Carrie Ryan, Shannon Messenger, Heather Brewer, Ellen Hopkins, Mari Mancusi, Jennifer Brown
Front Row: Cole Gibsen, Jody Feldman, Sarah Bromley, Antony John

Oh SCBWI Midsouth Fall Conference, how do I love thee?

I've already tried to count the ways.

And there are WAY too many.

You see, I'm a total noob. I'm that guy who's been writing since forever but never took the time and never saved the money to actually go to a writing conference. But then one showed up in (almost) my back yard. And when a conference shows up in (almost) your back yard and asks if you wanna go...

You say YES!

So I went. And I'm telling you now, folks. If you've ever wondered if going to a conference is worth the money, the travel time, the packing--the answer's still yes. Here's a breakdown of my first ever writing conference experience:

Friday

When I got there, there were books. Sweet Lord in Heaven there were books. And a lot of the authors were there with them, ready to sign, ready to chat, ready to smile, and pen a semi-personal note on the title page of your brand new hardcover.

The most surprising thing was how genuinely approachable the authors were. I stood in line to snag a copy of Kristin Tubb's The 13th Sign and happened to find myself behind someone who obviously knew her. Either that of the lady just really had a knack for guessing household pets' names. Several minutes later, it was my turn to step up, smile, and not do this:

And, no, that didn't happen. For one, I was alone, and for two, Kristin is much prettier than that librarian.

For an hour, I made my way around the tables, talking to authors, getting things signed, and wondering what it would feel like to be on the other side of that table. I know, I know... all in good time, Brooks...

The day ended with a networking/schmooze session which was where I got to meet fellow MG writer and Twitter friend, Gail Nall!

If you're thinking that picture's breaking the Ghostbusters theme, look closer at my shirt. I had this thing planned from the very beginning. Maybe.

Saturday

The morning opened with a keynote speech by the incredible Jay Asher and the day didn't let up through the hours of sessions to choose from. These included first page critiques, breaking into publishing, working with illustrators, finding the right agent, revising your work... you name it, they had it. The only problem was not having a clone or a time-turner to go to all of them.

The sessions I picked were fantastic and I left every single one with more than a full page of notes, complete with doodles, some AHA! ideas, and a buttload of inspiration. To be honest, it was almost overwhelming. But totally in the good way. Although, I'm sure I walked around the conference looking less inspired and more like--

That's okay, though. I saw a lot of other people making that same face. In fact, we'd greet each other with a smileless nod and a grunt, then walk on to our next session, wide-eyed and looking like we were about to step out into oncoming traffic.

That evening, several of the conference attendees signed up for a writers' dinner at a really cool place that had a miniature bust of a pope on a round table (no joking here). We were told we had to be out by 9:00. 

That didn't happen. 

You shove six writers in a single booth, put some amazing Italian food in front of them, all after a day full of writing conference, and we'll stay until a manager calls security. Or until they run out of noodles.

Sunday

When the last day rolled around, it was time for the final bit of announcements and our remaining pair of sessions. For my first, I chose a synopsis critique session by the amazing super-agent Josh Adams. I was lucky enough to get mine drawn, read, and commented on. His eyes sparkled when he read the title and he even said he'd want to read more! 

I decided to end my conference with Jordan Brown's session, Finding Your Voice. If you ever get a chance to hear this guy speak, do it. Even if you have to drive cross-country, donate blood for gas money, and hitchhike part of the way there, do it. He's that good. A warning, though. Limber up your fingers if you plan to take notes. Because the guy speaks at twice the normal human speed. Seriously. He's like the modern day Micro Machines commercial dude. With a beard.

Finally, we gathered back into the big room for awards, honorable mentions, and goodbyes. I'm glad to say I'm the proud owner of three new books, compliments of SCBWI's door prize committee. But I left with much more than just some amazing literature, bookmarks, business cards, and a journal full of agent and editor brain-pickings.

I left with a new-found love for SCBWI and the Midsouth group that worked so hard to bring so many awesome people together under one roof. 

So will I be going back?

I'm not even gonna answer that because this last image says it all.

But if you're still wondering, the answer's yes.