10 Lessons From a Decade on the Roller Coaster

With the decade drawing to a close, I'm seeing lots of 2009 vs 2019 selfies, and a number of tweets reflecting on changes, dreams, or achievements since 2009. Which got me thinking: I signed with my first agent in 2009, but (surprise, surprise) my writing life and career hasn't all been smooth sailing since then. The roller coaster, it seems, is a constant. But you know, over the past decade, I've learned to be okay with the roller coaster, and even to enjoy the ride (mostly).

For my last post of the decade, here are ten lessons I've learned (and am still learning), and for me, they've made a huge difference in my well-being and productivity. Free bonus! Dog pictures, because why not? Dogs are awesome.

1. Write every day...or don't. You might've heard the idea that "real writers" must write every day without fail. If it works for you, great; absolutely draw up a schedule and stick to it. But as a shiftworker and mother of four, I was glad to discover that books can be written in 15-minute chunks of time at hockey arenas and swimming pools, in cafes and cluttered kitchens.

2. Write what you know...or what you want to know. Following that old "write you know" advice, I could easily get stalled, because hey, how much interesting stuff do I really know? But it turns out, my best writing often comes when I'm writing what I want to know--what makes me curious or fascinates me--and when I'm passionate about the topic or theme.

3. Set goals...but be flexible. I knew it was important to set realistic goals for the things that were actually in my control, but life happens (and some things are more important than writing, no matter how much we'd like to give priority to our writing time). When I stopped beating myself up and started giving myself a little grace, I was happier and healthier.

4. Listen to feedback...but trust your gut. This is something I'm still learning--to trust my instincts. It's tough. I need feedback, for sure (but there's definitely a "too many cooks" line I try not to cross). When the feedback is consistent, and when it resonates, it's easy. But when it doesn't resonate, trust your gut. The gut knows.

5. Write badly. I have a hard time setting aside the desire for my words to be good, but oh, it's so freeing when I'm able to take the pressure off. Creativity flourishes when we give ourselves permission to write badly, even to fail. So maybe, don't take your work too seriously.

6. Write well. Write a lot. Rewrite. Study craft. Keep getting better. Keep reaching for your personal best. Keep stretching yourself creatively. (Those stories that feel daunting and beyond your abilities? See #5 above, and write those stories.)

7. Use whatever tools get the job done. Try all the "hacks" and embrace whatever helps: drafting in comic sans, writing longhand in colorful ink, building playlists, Scrivener, Word, yellow legal pads in cafes. (I've discovered that cheap notebooks and expensive pens make the perfect combo for me, for brainstorming and free-writing.) If you get stuck, mix it up -- a change of scenery, a switch to longhand, working on a different scene or project. Whatever it takes.

8. Write the next thing. In this industry, there will always be more waiting. And the waiting often ends in rejection. So when you finish one thing, start the next thing. For me, focusing on a shiny new project makes me less invested in the old project, which both takes my mind off the wait and lessens the blow if it does end in rejection.

9. Find your people. I'm so thankful for my community of writing friends. Can't imagine riding this roller coaster without them! We need people who "get" us, and who understand the challenges of writing and publishing. Encourage, and be encouraged; support, and be supported. Find your people.

10. Hang onto joy. A while back, I decided if there was no joy in the writing, it wasn't worth it. Creativity should be fun. We need to play, to make the things our heart wants to make, to find our worth and our joy within us, rather than having it all hinge on things that are largely out of our control. Remember what you love about writing, and nurture that.

So that's what I've been learning this past decade. Maybe you can relate to a few of these things, or maybe some will offer a bit of help or encouragement as you step into a new year--and a new decade--of life as a writer.

What lessons or truths about the writing life have you discovered over the past years?

Happy writing...