Most Common Query Flaws I See as a Pitch Wars Mentor

If you don’t know what Pitch Wars is, you probably should! It’s a contest that hooks querying authors up with established authors and editors to help their books become “publishing” ready. Read more about it here: http://www.brenda-drake.com/2017/06/pitch-wars-2017-details/

My job? First, I get emailed a bunch of submissions from people who are interested in me as mentor. They come in very much like a query to an agent. Query, and first chapter. I read through all my submissions and am allowed to choose ONE to mentor. The amount of submissions vary year to year, category to category and mentor to mentor but so far I’ve averaged around 80 submissions. That’s 80 query and chapters to read through in a couple weeks, and that’s not including the full manuscripts I’ll request. And honestly? The hardest part is choosing only one.

No, not kidding. I’m convinced that the quality that comes in through Pitch Wars is higher than the average slush pile (not that I can compare, I’ve never peeked inside and agents inbox but I’ve heard stories!)

So how can you stack the deck? How do you make sure your query is on my list of "Yesses!"? How I pick my "THE ONE!" is honestly pretty personal, just whichever story I connect with for whatever reason. But you can do a lot of things to make sure you're at least one of the stories I agonize over not picking. So here are some of the most common issues I see in my submissions. You may noticed they go a bit beyond the basics, because, like I said, the qaulity in Pitch Wars is pretty high!

1) Confusing query

Some books are easier to pitch than others, that’s a simple truth. I’ve written books nearly impossible to write a great query for and others that just flow from my little typing fingers like honey. To you, as the author, it all makes sense. You know this story in and out—but I don’t. Sometimes it’s really hard to take a step back and look at it through fresh eyes to see the gaps in logic. It probably makes perfect sense in the book, but in this tiny one page summary… it doesn’t. The solution? Other people need to read your query and not just your critique partners. You need fresh eyes, someone who knows nothing about your book (also, preferably other writers. Non-writers just don’t quite understand what is expected out of a query) that can point out places they get confused. 

2) The story is missing the “why?”

 I’ve noticed this a lot, I remember tweeting about it as I read my submissions last year. Most of you understand that you need “stakes” in your query, but stakes aren’t quite so powerful if we don’t understand why _______will happen if your character doesn’t ______. How does it connect? One big one is, why YOUR CHARACTER needs to be the one to do it. What are his personal stakes in this? Why was he chosen? Why not someone else? If there are 100 people out also trying to save the world, well, if your character fails, someone else may succeed. That sucks out the tension.

3) Confusing first pages

One part of this are pages that don’t fit the query. This can get tricky with multiple POV books but if your query hooked me, I want to start reading that story, not a different one. Make sure they feel connected. Another part is trying too hard to hook with high intensity but not grounding the reader. It’s VERY important that we understand the surroundings, characters and their immediate goals right away. 

4) Overlooking character

Plot vs Character is an old debate and personally, I’m hooked by great ideas. I love concepts. What ifs. Something new and exciting! But if I don’t care about the people involved in those great ideas? It’s all for not. I won’t keep reading. Personally, I don’t think plot and character should be fighting each other, they should be working together. You need BOTH. Personal stakes are just as important as external stakes. 

5) Pages that require the query to make sense

Something is stated in the query then it’s just assumed we’ll know that in the pages. Your pages must stand alone. Don’t look at them like a pair, look at them individually. Will my pages hook a reader if they haven’t read the query? Will my query hook a reader without knowing anything about the story? The story is the important part, the query is just a tool used to convince people to read your story.

6) Not showing us what’s special

This is honestly the number one reason a query goes in my no folder. There have been millions of books published. There are thousands upon thousands of books being queried right now. If your book doesn’t stand out, if you don’t show me something, anything new, for me to latch onto, it’ll get buried alive. It won’t stand out on a book shelf, the same way it won’t stand out in the slush pile. Often, we find trends in our queries. Not publishing trends, just things that for whatever reason, several people decided to write at once. You’ll hear mentors talking about these, “A lot of red heads in my queries this year.” “Wow, that’s the fourth friendly ghost story I’ve seen so far”. Those things don’t mean the kiss of death. One of those friendly ghost stories might be AWESOME because it has something super unique about it that the others don’t. It might be an *amazing* voice or writing style that flows with the story (my very first mentee was like that. About a girl who sees a boy’s spirit. Not overly unique. But her setting and voice and atmosphere was THROUGH THE ROOF and I couldn’t get it out of my head). But not everyone has that kind of writing style (I don’t) so you find another way. A twist, a unique setting, an unexpected tone. 

So think about this, just assume, for arguments sake, that there are several other books being entered into Pitch Wars with a similar story as yours. How will yours stand out? You wrote a mystery with a whodunit, why will I choose yours over the other 5? You wrote a romance. Why is yours the one I’ll remember over the others? No, you don’t need to add in Cyclopes clowns to make me remember you. Make it something real. Something engaging. Something that gets my mind spinning through the possibilities. What will engage and hook one mentor will be different for another, so don’t worry about that. Not everyone will love your work. Just make sure, somehow, it stands out. Show me what is special about your story. Show me how your future publisher will market you. 



If you can stand out, explain the story in a way I can understand, include compelling emotions in your characters,  with decent writing and it all fits into my wishlist, you'll very likely find yourself in my (much too long, I'm sure) want pile!

This year, I'm mentoring YA with the lovely Rebecca Sky, you can find out more about the submissions we're hoping to receive here: http://www.rebeccasky.com/gallery.php

Good luck Pitch Warriors!

When Things Don't Go Your Way

A few days ago my Twitter feed lit up with all kinds of Pitch Wars excitement when the names of the mentees for this round were announced. There were hundreds of congratulatory tweets, dozens of celebratory gifs, and all kinds of people expressing supportive happiness.

There was a flip side to all of these virtual high-fives, however. Many people who submitted their work to the contest weren’t chosen by a mentor.

If you’ve been writing long enough, you’ve had rejection or disappointment smack you in the head a number of times. There’s just no way around this. It’s happened to all of us. We know reaching our writing goals is a long process and involves a lot of hard work. We’re all familiar with the backstories of the bajillionaire authors who struggled mightily when they were getting started. Knowing this doesn’t make the rejection sting any less though, especially when the struggle is a part of daily writing life.

Putting a lot of hope into a contest and not having it pan out isn’t fun. I don’t make a habit out of buying lottery tickets, but when the jackpot gets up into stratospheric dollar amounts, I figure, eh, why not? I know I’m not going to win…probably…but I’m still a tiny bit disappointed when my numbers don’t come up, even though all I lost was maybe a few bucks. Something like Pitch Wars, or any of the other contests out there, are great opportunities, but that’s all they are. Opportunities. Chances. Nice chances to be sure, wonderful chances, but not guarantees of anything else ever happening as a result. Contests are only one way for writers to get that first foot in the door. After all, how many book deals had been made, or query letters answered, or conference pitches nervously delivered before Twitter had even been thought up? I don’t mind saying that some of my earliest attempts at queries were done on paper for crying out loud, with envelopes and stamps and everything. Taking a long time to make any kind of progress in writing is much more the rule than the exception.

So why do we continue trying? Why enter the contests, or write the queries, or make the pitches when they don’t lead to anything, and a lot of the time it feels like they never will? Why even bother writing when the odds are stacked so high against you?

Because your other choice is to not do these things. To put aside the hopes and dreams and just write for kicks, or not write at all anymore. I’m guessing for most of us that really isn't much of an option.

If you didn’t make the Pitch Wars cut this time, think about why that could be. Look for a way to grow and improve from this setback. Hopefully you got some kind of feedback, but if you didn’t, look for people you trust to give you some, or give yourself enough time away from your manuscript so you can come back at it with fresh eyes. Maybe try another contest, or go back to the query trenches. It could also be that the best move is to give the manuscript a rest and try working on something new.

You may not have reached the goal you were hoping for this time, but you didn’t really lose anything, either. This was just one opportunity. Others are definitely on the way. Just be sure you’re ready for them when they cross your path.

Pitch Wars and all that Publishing Pressure

The first time I entered Pitch Wars, I failed monumentally.

My knowledge of query letters, pitches, formatting, and word counts lay right around absolute zero. Seriously, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew nothing. I was the Jon Snow of publishing. And it showed.

But you know what? I walked away with more than just a few mentor rejections. I walked away with a better understanding of everything I had originally messed up. I kept in contact with the people I'd met on the Twitter hashtag and we began swapping manuscripts. And when I wrote my second book, I vowed to enter the contest again and not wind up looking like a total noob this time.

My second Pitch Wars was with my current book, My Seventh-Grade Life in Tights. I finished my first draft just in time to get a couple of beta readers to give me notes. I was lucky enough to find a mentor (the amazing Marieke Nijkamp) who wanted my story. She helped me so much with developing particular elements of the story, and when it came time for the three-day agent round to go live, I was feeling good. Positive. Certain that Tights was going to get some serious attention.

The first day was crickets. The second, they brought their friends. By day three, the post featuring my first 250 words was so absent of agent love I was ready to shove my manuscript into a hole in my yard and let the earthworms turn it to compost. Mine wasn't the only one that didn't get any requests, but there weren't many that failed to. My mentor urged me to query. She told me to not give up because Pitch Wars was simply one avenue. Every query letter I could send out was another. And there were plenty of agents out there I could contact. Stopping then would've been like throwing the car in park and going home because there happened to be one single road closed between your house and Dunkin' Donuts.

So I dusted off my query-writing skills and wrote the best letter I could. I revisited my first page and changed a few things around. I queried a handful of agents and within a few weeks I had three offers of representation. I signed with Uwe Stender of the Triada US Literary Agency and he ended up selling my book to Random House two weeks later.

But imagine if I had thrown in the towel?

Actually, don't. Don't imagine that. Because throwing in the towel, especially that early on, is just silly. I didn't get my book published because of me. I got it published because of all the people surrounding my story who were willing to help me. Whether you self publish or traditionally publish, it really does take a village to get there.

My point is this:

If you want to have a book on a shelf, exhaust every avenue possible. There is no one road to get there. Relying on a single path is, simply put, bad planning. If you get into Pitch Wars this year, give yourself a huge pat on the back and get right back to work. If you don't get into Pitch Wars this year, take some time to feel bad and get right back to work. If you're not entering Pitch Wars this year, support those who are trying to and get right back to work.

Learn as you go. Make friends as you try. Have fun writing and remember that every author started out unagented, unpublished, and with a head full of words and a gut full of hope.

The Importance of a Strong Concept

We are in the midst of Pitch Wars season.

And I must make a confession: I'd never heard of Pitch Wars, or any other online pitching, before I got my first book deal and became more active on social media.

And I'm also not going to lie: since I heard about Pitch Wars, I've been equal parts terrified and enthralled by the idea.

Why you might ask?

Simple: Being able to pitch your idea means you have such a clear concept that you are actually able to deliver it in less than 140 characters (well, perhaps over two or three tweets).

And I salute you.


via GIPHY

Because as a writer, refining my idea into something clear, fresh, AND engaging is one of my biggest challenges.

And being able to pitch an idea that jumps out of a tweet and gets people excited?

Golden.

Oh, I get lots of ideas.

But often they are only flashes of something, and I seem unable to build on them in such a way that it makes my agent sit up and shout "Write THAT!"

Or sometimes I'll get a great idea only to realize my idea has been done a thousand times before and by better writers than me.



via GIPHY

I attended a break-out session with a literary agent at the Winter SCWBI conference this past February. The agent spoke at length about the benefit of having a high concept when it comes to pitching your work to an agent, an editor, the public.

What's high concept?

An idea that no only you can explain easily, but which immediately creates buzz in whoever hears it. It's as if when they hear your concept they think "Wow! What a fantastically original twist on an idea!"



via GIPHY

Think of Romeo and Juliet. Had Will Shakespeare said "Hey-I've got this fantastic idea about a boy and girl who fall in love in Italy" his agent would have said "Um, no thanks Will. Seen it a thousand times before."

But no, Will's got something better:

"Hey-I've got this fantastic idea - the children of sworn enemies fall in love, secretly marry, and thanks to a series of violent and tragic events, must separate, only to be later reunited and die in each other's arms thanks to a terrible mix-up."

His agent's response? "Nice play, Shakespeare!" And the rest is history!


Obviously, not every idea can be high concept nor should it be. The book I have coming out in February, It's a Mystery, Pig Face! was definitely NOT high concept.

Sure there's a mystery surrounding a bag of money discovered in a baseball dugout, but mostly, it's about how the impact of trying to solve the mystery affects the relationships between a sister, her best friend, and her annoying little brother.

But let's be honest. If you have a killer idea AND your idea is high concept, it is going to WAY easier to get people to want to read your book and represent you.

So how can you take your idea and make it high concept?

• Push your idea farther. Ask yourself the same kinds of questions Shakespeare must have asked himself when writing his plays "What if..."
• Ask yourself - is this unique? Has it ever been done like I want to do it before?

How will you know if your idea is high concept?

• When you describe your idea to other people do they get REALLY excited and already start imagining what your book will be like? (this happened to be with the recent book I sold and believe me, it is a fabulous feeling!)
• You can easily imagine the movie
• You can imagine lots of different kinds of kids wanting to read the book and you can imagine parents, teachers and librarians recommending it.

One of the best pieces about concept that I've read online is by literary agent Jill Corcoran, who has killer instincts.  Read her piece here - it will forever change your perspective!

The one thing I know for sure: developing a strong concept can come to you like a bolt out of the blue, but usually, it takes time and a lot of finessing to take your idea and make it something compelling so that an agent will want to sign you, a publisher will want to publish you and best of all, a kid will want to read your book.

But it-is-oh-so-worth-it!

And for all of you participating in this year's Pitch Wars: GOOD LUCK!